On the afternoon of Friday, April 26th, Summers-Knoll School hosted their annual Grand Friends Day. The classrooms were a-buzz with that special Grand Friend energy. It was beautiful to see students and Grand Friends working together side-by-side: planting flowers, enjoying books, making scribble bots, doing a scientific investigation, and sharing highlights from the school year thus far. Thank you to the parents in the Parent School Network for all of your support with this event.
Intergenerational relationships are essential for our well-being: older and younger generations benefit mutually from being in relationship with one another. In his article “What Happens When Old and Young Connect” published in The Greater Good Science Magazine (by The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley), Marc Freedman writes:
“In a single century, we have gone from one of the most age-integrated nations on earth to its mirror opposite. So how can we turn things around? How can we find new ways to do old things, to rediscover the joys of intergenerational connection?”
In the article linked above, Freedman offers some suggestions for how to rediscover the joys of intergenerational connection. To complement Freedman’s research-based suggestions, I interviewed some SK students and asked why their relationships with their grandparents/friends were special and important.
Nora (5th): You learn from them. You learn how different their lives were from ours.
Naomi (6th): They are your loved ones.
Hasan (6th): When I was pretty young, I used to be pretty untrusting with my [paternal] grandma, but as I got older, I could start telling that she definitely cared about me. She made my breakfast, folded my clothes. If I ever did something I shouldn’t have, she told me nicely. I think that relationship is really important, for me at least. I can see how somebody like her could end up raising somebody like my father. He does the same thing – if I ever do anything bad, he tells me politely to not do it again. He is trustworthy and honest. And my grandma has played a part in it.
Maya (6th): They can give you guidance because they’ve been through more in their life, so they can help you along the way.
Blu (3rd): Because they give the best presents, and they are really, really nice.
Isobel (3rd): I know they can always be there to help me and do stuff with me and play with me.
Gem (3rd): They can help out with my parents if they need to go do something; they can watch me. They take me places, and we can do fun stuff.
Niam (3rd): They always let me do stuff and they fix stuff for me and they come over for every holiday and they support me.
Jason (4th): They teach you stuff, and I like when they read you books. Also I like watching movies with my grandpa because it’s fun and relaxing. And they listen to you; if you have a problem, they listen to you.
Clearly, the young folks I interviewed were primarily focused on what they gain from these relationships. But I’m sure they also give a lot. I would love to ask the grandparents/friends of SK students this same question: What makes your relationships with your grandchildren special to you? I have a feeling the grandparents/friends would also talk about what they gain from these relationships, how much their lives are enriched by their grandchildren, watching them grow, seeing the world through a young person’s eyes. But do grandparents/friends realize how important they are to the young people in their lives?
Grandparents/friends, you are teachers, supporters, creators of fun, and relaxing companions who bring so much light to everyone’s lives by simply being, lending a listening ear and a wise heart.
In his podcast 70 over 70, “Max Linsky talks to 70 remarkable people, all over the age of 70, not just about their past but their lives right now. These are conversations about the big questions we all ask ourselves, no matter how old we are. What does it mean to live well? What are we still searching for? And how do we learn to let go?” I highly recommend this podcast. I started listening to it in the summer of 2021, shortly after the first episode aired.
I also recommend Wilfrid Gordon McDonald Partridge by Mem Fox to read with kids of any age, and Childtimes: A Three-Generation Memoir by Eloise Greenfield and Lessie Jones Little for readers in middle school and up.